My new love

I have a new love whom shall be called B for now. He is not yet out so his identity shall be protected. While I can write for long periods of why I love him, and I most assuredly do love him, I think it best to provide copies of two letters he wrote me recently:
Dear Gary:
You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You know as well as I do that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the most important thing in my life and I love you.
When we first met I really thought you were going to block me, and I was so happy to get s response from you. When I was scrolling through the men on hornet I had the age set for 36-80 so that is one of the reasons you showed up. When I saw you I swear my heart must have skipped a beat. You looked so beautiful in that photo and I was mesmerized by you.
I know you don’t feel that you are handsome and that you have a hard time believing me when I tell you that you are; but I would never lie to you. You are the most handsome man as far as I am concerned. Yes my history teacher was a handsome man and yes there are many handsome men out there; but that is just going off of looks. I actually know you and I feel like I know you very well, and you are beautiful on the inside just as much as the outside and that is why I find you so incredibly handsome.
You complete me sweetheart, you really are my other half. Without you I would be lost and you help me in so many ways. Without you to tell me I would do great on my speech I would have been terrified and not as confident as I was when I did it. I was able to pretend that I was talking to you and that helped me so much. You always encourage me when I feel like I am going to fail and you are always there to support me when I do.
This past month has been amazing and I know that this whole year is going to be amazing because I am going to be spending it with you. I want us to be married and I want us to have a nice life together.
I know that you are old and I say that it does not bother me and it doesn’t. But I do think of it sometimes and how I know that theoretically you are going to die before me, and that makes me sad, but then I think about all the wonderful times we are going to have together and I know you are going to at least going to be with me for twenty years and that is a long time for me considering I have not even lived twenty years yet. And knowing how old you are and are going to die does not scare me away from loving you with all my heart and putting everything I have into this relationship.
I always worry about your health problems and yes I know that you will most likely be fine, but there is always that off chance that something will happen. But again that is not going to deter me away from being with you because I would rather love you fully for a short time and never love again than find someone else and always think about you. It would not be fair to the other person and it would make both of us unhappy. Your happiness is one of my top priorities. I will always love you, that much is certain. I know we can not predict the future and that we can’t plan for everything, but I do know no matter what we are going to be together in the end and that we both will do everything we can to ensure that that happens.
Death used to scare me, not knowing what is happening in the world and all that shit. I know that I am not a religious person, but whatever happens after death I am going to go into it with the knowledge that I will be reunited with you and that you will be waiting for me.
I love you Gary that much is for certain, it might as well be written in stone because of how solid that statement is. I know you do not want me just for sex, I tease you about that because you are an old man, but I know it is not true. I can see it in your eyes in the way you look at me. I can hear it in your voice when you tell me you love me and that I mean everything to you. You don’t have to prove anything to me, I already know.
You are my everything and I will always love you and you know that. You know I will do anything to be with you, I would go wherever you go just to be with you because I never want to fall asleep without you in my arms or my head on your chest.
I tell you I love you every morning when I wake up and every evening when I go to sleep. Not just to tell you, but because that way I know that you go to sleep knowing that I love you and that you woke up knowing nothing has changed.
I am proud to call you my boyfriend and I want you to be with me every step of the way as I accomplish my goals, our goals. There will never be a time where I don’t want you to be around, even when I want to be alone for a little while I would never object to a quick kiss from my lover. Just like right now there is never a time I don’t want to call you or video chat you because every time we do we learn more and more about each other and it is more time we get to spend together.
I love you so much and that will
never change. I will always love you and only you sweetheart. I would never have someone else after you because no one could compare. You are perfect for me. You are my one and only true love.
Love

I read that a month after we met. I told him how beautiful that was, and how beautiful he was to write it. Then two weeks later he writes this:

You have brought more love and laughter in my life than anyone before. You are not only the perfect man for me but you have eyes full of determination to be with me. Before we’d met I’d hoped for someone to come into my life to laugh with. Then you came along and suddenly all was right in the world.
I want to spend the rest of my life being yours. You are the most important thing to me. I love you so much, Gary, and you have really improved my life so much. There isn’t a day where I don’t want to talk to you, see your face.
Sometimes I feel this is all a dream because of how amazing and perfect You are.
I will always be by your side no matter what. That means what ever happens, I will stick by you. You mean everything to me, old man. I love you.

So there you have the reasoning I am in love with this young punk.We will always be together.

New Year, New Me

Happy New Year and welcome to my blog. For those of you New, take time to see the evolution from start to finish. For those returning, welcome back. Thank you so much for your comments and suggestions. The new me is because I have stopped opioid use after many years of morphine, OxyContin and others. I feel, after four months, reborn. Sure I still have pain but at age 71 I figure “get over it”. Seriously, I will have surgery the 22nd of January to replace a titanium plate in my left arm that broke, and re-fusing that wrist. So yeah, 10 days of pain pills and a cast for about six months. My health is decent and I plan on living to 132 since I have 61 years of plans to finish. There is more to that story, for a later update. I am also revising my YouTube channel soon and will include my Twitter and channel info soon. This could be a wonderful year for me, and I hope for you as well. I am trying to achieve a position to assist others in attaining their goals by opening your minds to possibilities, as well as energizing your actions. Sure, I kick back and procrastinate from time to time, and I would like to add some personal touches to this blog. I welcome comments and suggestions, but I do maintain a spam blocker which has stopped many thousands of malicious spam, as well as a huge number of attempted hackers. Who knew my blog would be of such interest. Again, thank you and welcome to my nightmare, as Alice Cooper once sang.
Consider the New Year as being an opening in a set of waves at the beach. Prepare to run in, throwing your “board” ahead and propelling yourself aboard, causing the board to breach the next oncoming wave and allowing you the opportunity to paddle into position, turning the board as you prepare for catching the selected wave. As you see the chosen wave approach, you begin to paddle until you feel the board start to rise and ride along in front of this wave. You cautiously rise to your knees, positioning your feet. As your speed increases stand upright and watch where you are heading. Balance is key, nearly as important as position of board and feet. Your body moves to balance and you have begun your ride. Scan ahead for problems and solve them before you encounter them. Congratulations, you too are heading towards a great year.

Vision I Have

Beginning today I have some thoughts concerning the mess our America is embroiled in. Trump was elected to enact a change. He has certainly brought Change. His change was not what most sought. He has brought division, and handed the Country over to multi-national Corporations and allowed Russia to cash in on the Anarchy resulting from various factions across this land. The Investigations have pled out two and charged two more. No doubt exists that many more will be charged for the corruption and theft that has run rampant in the less than one year since the election.
It is time to let that process continue, chips falling where they may, so to speak. The time for the people to take back this Country has come, and for divisiveness to end.
The past election for President needs renewed, because the party in control colluded with a foreign power to seize control. While Hillary was undoubtedly the best prepared, too much of her past is tainted. The Constitution was never meant to specifically deal with this situation. How the hell do we repair the damage without throwing away the baby with the wash?
The Constitution still works. We just need to set out a few rules:
1. A person is defined as someone that bleeds blood when shot. Nothing else is a person and can not be politically involved either financially or through lobbyists. This needs to be a criminal act to break this rule.
2. Citizens of America are the only persons allowed to participate in the electoral process. No business entities can participate in any manner, with the exception of any person speaking out need identify their business association such as ownership or employment. The association is strictly to identify why they speak out as they do, not to speak for the business.
3. Corporations and businesses in general must be silent regarding politics because they are artificial entities and have no political rights what so ever. This must be a criminal offense to break.
4. Tax rates will be returned to a simple process. Tax loop holes will be closed. Businesses owned by more than ten people will pay a flat 25% tax, with deductions from gross sales limited to wages of employees, US production costs, and the highest paid salary no more than 10 times the lowest paid wage.
5. Family businesses shall be no more than four owners and shall pay 25% tax on gross sales, deductions limited to cost of doing business in America. The highest wage shall be no more than ten times the lowest wage.
6. Wages shall be taxed on a progressive scale as follows: individual deductions are $6,000 per person. 10% of income minus medical costs, property taxes, interest paid on debt, vehicle operating costs, food costs, work costs (clothing, materials and tools).
7. Inheritance tax on all estates exceeding $10,000,000, on the exceeded amount 20%.
8. Any business that moves production away from America shall pay a 50% import fee on all imports. All out of Country products not part of trade agreements must pay a 25% import fee.
9. Any product made out of Country and assembled here, not part of a trade agreement must pay a 25% import fee.
10. Any Corporate or business entity that ceases manufacturing in America and goes to another Country for manufacturing can not sell that product in America unless they retrain all employees laid off in America and donate their physical property to the Counties there are located in. Retraining means exactly that, plus the employee must be hired at equal or above wages previously paid, for at least one year.
11. The cap on the amount of wages subject to Social Security is removed, and payment is on the gross wage. For persons that just buy and sell the tax is paid on each sale.
12. Every State College and University shall provide in State students free tuition for those who qualify for Pell grants.
13. No business entity shall ever be allowed to be “to big to fail” and must be broken up much like Ma Bell and Standard oil were. Banks should not be so large as to get away with manipulation of the economy. The Dodd-Frank rules need be reinstated and made non-voidable. Common sense indicates when business entities lose the personal care shown by most family businesses they are too big.
14. As punishment for the election bull l shit, if Trump is found Guilty of money laundering and/or obstruction of justice, confiscating all the Properties in America should occur, the lease in the old Post Office in Washington DC should be returned to the US government. All of Trumps cash should be placed into a fund to pay his victims of sexual assault. His family can learn to work for a living.

These should provide ground work for setting some guidelines to redirect cash back to the middle and lower classes. The. Oerhaps we can get back to being the Great Nation we always were.

Urban Legend or Infamy’s Stasis

I have been writing my memoirs and as I have delved into the past and spoken with others concerning past actions and deeds. That is all a piece of past delving, but I have uncovered an anomaly in memory of my past with me and with those of others who remember various actions involving me and others. This past they relate has similar underpinnings to my memory on some basics but their “favorite” recollections frequently differ from mine in details specifically. This has led me to confusion as to what the fuck they are talking about. Sometimes I assumed they just mis-remembered but other times their recollections simply are of things I know never happened. I have an excellent memory so that is not a part of it. Their memories were more of a completely different time frame and factual reality. I did operate a restaurant for several months, and during that time had a few late night parties involving food and fun, and those folks fondly remember those times because they were unique and crazy. My record and tape store (Crazy Corbs Cosmic Corner) was party oriented but I never had pin ball machines in the upper Bandon store. I did sell pot paraphernalia and Cocaine accessories for a short period. There was no Cocaine anywhere to be found, so I imported an ounce and filled the toys for it with it. I stored the Cocaine in a pile on a mirror in the main display case for the few days it was available. Highly illegal, the best place to “hide” it was in plain sight. So I did. I sold pot over the counter, to friends, when I first opened. That was fact, but never truly known at the time. That is what legends are made of. I was never caught or prosecuted for that. Had I been caught or prosecuted then it would have been infamy! When I was younger, and living in California I sold drugs for several years as a way to make a living. I frequently worked a job as well, but selling pot and LSD was how I earned money to support my friends and myself. I would buy ten kilos of pot and bag it up and selling the bags. Often the kilos cost $100 and yielded 34 $10 bags plus house smoke. Each thousand dollars brought three back. One thousand hits of LSD brought three thousand back. Some weeks five thousand came back from two going out and we all partied. Makes me wonder why I was always broke. The fact is I usually had a decent car, nothing fancy. I dressed nice suits I got from fences, or Salvation Army chic. I bought a lot of food, gas was not expensive. I did coke for a year, but made more than I used. I needed a keeper because while I made a lot of money I never had a lot of money. I sold a lot of drugs but also kept everyone high. I did not do it for the money nor the notoriety. I did it because I could. People trusted me and believed in me. I exploited that a few times but for the most part I dared to be a can do guy. If you wanted good drugs at decent prices I always could deliver. I did a few things I should not have, and people lost money. My bad. Yet no one ever got bad drugs. So, you wonder, where does the Urban Legend come in? When people remind me of a time we disgorged kilos from an old ford. I have never disgorged kilos from an old ford. He was not positive but seemed to remember us doing that. I have only disgorged kilos from a vehicle once, and actually had someone else do it. Then their neighbors steal it. I gave the names of the thieves to friends and magically they were returned immediately. That was 124 kilos. I did a load of fifty kilos for $40 each delivered. I sold them forty kilos for $50, making ten kilos. I ended up having to split with two people that set the deal up, and my take was four kilos. I was pissed but one of the four was Acapulco Gold, and that made it ok. Infamy? Why that is what happens when you get caught and convicted for a super act. That has never happened to me. Urban Legend? Yes, that is what many of my sorties have become, and they grow for as long as people survive remembering those stories. Maybe I should title my memoirs “The Making of an Urban Legend”. Weigh in on that in the comments. Happy Trails.

Octoberfest in America

With apologies to those Countries where Octoberfest is near religious doctrine I shall subvert the name to proclaim October the days of libation liberated thoughts of politics and day to day survival. I no longer drink alcoholic beverages however I do burn hemp in a pipe or paper on occasion. That has been a thing with me since 1966. Yep, 51 years of burning and inhaling. My only suffering had been from the occasional arrest for possession. Once I was accused and convicted for sales but the wrights were all off I no check on the money was made which I pointed out in Court. Had it expunged so no big deal but the police failed to properly do their job, which police often do. Nowadays people do not work like they used to. When I was growing up people found a good job and stayed with it. Now there is no incentive for loyalty because the individual owner has been replaced by Corporations. That is what is wrong with America. Individuals care for individuals, Corporations care only for profit. Therefore poor quality exists because no one cares, they all just clock in and out. I prefer to work for myself, but at 70, soon to be 71, I do not have the ability to do much. Two years ago I lived in the forest with my two dogs and prospected. For the last two years I have been getting my health together. So I have declared this month my personal Octoberfest. Here is to a great month, my last for age 70. Enjoy.

Tough Audience

The hardest part of maintaining a blog is remembering to write. It is so easy to just procrastinate over adding topics. Especially when I am having to moderate spam or handling responses in other languages. I kind of fear eliminating an honest response to something I have written as Spam. Naturally there will be lots of spam responses, so many in fact I will toss out 10 for every one I allow to stay. People directing to other websites are out as are e mails with weird or cryptic names. Then there are some titled flocked king bed or something like that. If they appear genuine then I welcome them with open arms. Try to be honest with your responses and do not advertise what you are selling. If your object is to direct people to your web site that is spam and I delete them. If you tell me you enjoy what was written I am glad. If you let others know then I appreciate that. I also do Facebook and you tube plus I guest write on several other blogs. communicate. Let me know you are human and feel.

In defence of Happenstance

Happenstance is defined as a chance encounter. A surprise or unplanned event. Something spontaneous. As you wander through your day how much of your interaction is planned and how much is by chance? Life works best when you have an order in which you act and planned action is not happenstance. Do you see where I am headed? Putting your things in order is logical and operating within the perimiter of your aligned goals is most efficient but lacks spontanaiety. Life is nothing more than happenstance unless you have prearranged things. Naturally you will have planned excursions and vacations but when happenstance intervenes are you adaptive or bewildered? Often you will meet strangers and unusual settings but can you enfold that spontineaty into your program? Living life by routine is boring and tends towards lack of ingenuity. By the same thought doing things on the spur of the moment can still occur while within a set program. School children do this frequently. They have a lesson plan and they will follow this plan but the students will also interject spontaneous questions and observances. That will be part of the lesson plan. Planned happenstance? Nope, that would be an oxymoron. A good lesson plan would have established pointers for students to follow so as to provide life and animation of the student. Some of my best classes in school were those that allowed free expression within a somewhat controlled enviroment. Variance would be steered and still allow for discovery. Discovery is an unknown that cones to light. While discovery is happenstance by nature yet it is a planned outcome in the classroom. Easiest to say then that discovery is an anticipated outcome of a planned series of actions. That is best described by describing a football game. The players operate off a series of prepared plans with a goal to be attained. No happenstance allowed but then there are turn overs and fumbles, alla part of the game but often planned to try to happen by the oppossing team. Imitation happenstance? No, just programed mishaps that usually have occurred by one players unexpected actions again another players movement. Happenstance. Quite the unexpected but apart of the total experience. So, happenstance is the light shining for a brief moment on one person’s glory but anothers defeat.I can live with that. Better if I am in glory but in defeat I will still achieve a moment of knowledge. Even a fumble can teach you how to better hold a ball. Happenstance, then, becomes a teacher as well as mentor. If you learn the difference between good and bad while still within the guidelines you are ok. Good luck and have a happenstance day.

Homeless Sick

I do not have a cold, I have had surgery. Arm surgery. A “left wrist arthrodecises” or close to that, spelling wise. It consisted of bone fusions in my hand and wrist, and a titanium plate placed in an open space between two large bones. This in accordance with the xrays i looked at after removal of the splint and maybe thirty staples. I was then placed into a skinny version of a cast of white cotton wrapped with blue fiberglass tape, which was wrapped after a soaking in warm water. This for another 5 weeks, although my removal appointment is in 4 weeks. January 4 is my removal date. Yes, the entire holiday season with one arm. I look upon it as fortuitous, but imagine normal people pt off this type procedure for a less harried time, however I look upon it as being done prior to any changes done to medicare. I realize that supposed changes to medicare, medicaid and “Obamacare” will take time to enact, and some changes do not make any sense. Vouchers simply indicate the dollar amount to be spent on a specific individuals. Poor people will more than likely will be unable to use the voucher for service required, and since I already am homeless due to finances, I simply will become homeless and invisible. As so many already are. Being a former member of those pseud private societies (the Underground) I am being punished for play by a different set of rules. You see, in the underground you pay what you can afford for what is needed. It is either done or not. If not, and it is necessary, you leave the Underground and return to society. This juncture is where many folks slip up and find themselves in trouble for failing to pay sufficient taxes. You have to at least file taxes yearly. I rarely had to pay more than the required Social Security taxes, a few times not being able to pay those, either. I have had the feds figure my taxes one year equal to what I earned the year before. I still owe between one and two hundred dollars. I will gladly pay that debt when I can. There were years where jobs were plentiful, but pay was demeaning. I understand while I was a pre-teen my dad brought home $60 a week. He bought a house, a new car, raised his family on that. I worked at a wrecking yard, here in Oregon, six days a week, for the same amount, plus lunch. Several years later I was earning $250 a week, for five days work, plus lunch. That was sufficient for survival. Now I live on about 70% of that and it is not sufficient. A single person needs $2500 a month, minimum. Nothing expensive and little new. In 40 years things are 10 times as expensive now, and I live on 70% of my earnings from 40 years ago. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining, I am pointing out why the Underground exists, then, and now. The Underground exists, as does the resistance. The resistance is anti-trump for now, but in reality it has always been powered by the little guy who was or is being fucked over by the Oligarchs (super rich). Much like Robin Hood of merry old England, todays underground still tries to provide what merriment it can for the warriors, and the people populate both worlds at will. No thieves are welcome in the true underground, so tweakers do not last long. Nixon was the last to try and eliminate the underground, but in true underground fashion Nixon was taken down for his illegal acts. The underground plans on doing the same to all oligarch. Power to the people.

After Turkey, What?

Innoculous. There, I said it. Yesterday will remain in my memory for a long time. It was Turkey day. I love Turkey day. Jerry suggested we go eat at”The Barn”, a facility located in Banon’s city park. It is an expansive facility, that day devoted to providing a Thanksgiving day repast, for free, for all. Yes, they accept donations, receive many, and the Lion’ Club sponsers it. I was going to my friend Bambi’s later, I first went to the barn, but accompanied by Jerry. First I asked for help. Cane in my only free hand, a volunteer was sought out, and secured. He held my plate as we went through the buffet. I love Turkey. And ham. Also mashed potatoes with gravy. Candied yams another favorite. Okay, cranberries in a preparation, some olives, butter and a biscuit some cole slaw. I sat at a table, the volunteer went and gathered my drink, a 7 up cranberry taste treat. Then I began to eat. The Cole Slaw was perfection, ample and properly mixed,the sauce was great, and the slaw had good, properly mixed cabbage and carrot. The Turkey was very good, the ham was also very good. The candied yams were a bit dry, with too few marshmallows and “sauce”. The meal was very good, the company was also nice. I enjoyed the morning. I returned to home. After returning home I ventured to Bambi’s and sat visiting. There was another dog there, a kitty cat house. I gathered Brutus and brought him in. He was invited and promised a bone. Brutus was a good boy, and I was proud of him. I did enjoy myself tremendously, Bambi’s guests were a congenial group of friends and family. My fb friend,Rhonda, was there and got me a well piled plate of food. The food was fantastic, plentiful and varied. Duck, turkey, ham, Ambrosia, desserts. I loved it all, best T day in a long time. One handed or not, a wonderful start to a great Christmas holiday. I still plan on dinning Christmas at the barn too.