Blue True

Often I find myself wondering how and why I am in the situation I am. Now it is broke snd homeless, but this goes a long way back. As a child, a young adult, an adult, I have questioned the predicament I find myself embroiled in. The answer has always been related to the problem, but it has taken me more time to finally arrive at the conclusion I now have. I am at the situation because. Yes, because. Nothing happens to you unless you do something that allowed you to arrive at your present circumstance. The reason you are where you are is because. Because you did something, or a series of somethings that led to where upu are. Yes, it sounds simple, but it is not that simple. Generally speaking your actions will lead to a predictable result. In my school days I rarely did my homework at home. I could do most at school, but home was not a vomfortable setting. My GPA was not indicative of my ability, it was merely a sign of my actions. I have never been arrested where I did not know shortly before hand it was going to happen. That was because I knew not to do something, but did it anyway. Yes, I lived a lifestyle that invariably would lead to my arrest, eventually. That helped cause my arrest, but it was not the direct cause, it was incidental. Many people engaged in drugs, but users that were careful, or even dealers that were careful seemed to not get caught. I was usually set up by acquaintances. I can not pass a lie detector test, not because I lie, but because a part of the answer invariably requires you acknowledge to not commiting any crimes, and I can never get over that particular hurdle because I break the law frequently and knowingly. Many people do, because there are a lot of laws and it is difficult to not break laws. Many people speed while driving, or upon finding money keep it, or fail to correct a cashier that gives you too much change. I don’t do those things, nor will I grab an ice block and not prepay for it. That is habit. I do still, on very rare occassions, accept cash for pot. I usually just give small amounts away, same as I sometimes receive pot gratus. Pot was a money source for me for too many years, although I no longer watch police cars to see if they are coming fir me. Odd, considering that in the sixties I always had kilos of pot and lots of LSD for sale. I have purchased paper sacks full of pressed and wrapped Pot while the place I purchased them was under surveilance. I have received kilos from a shipment that had been sold and followed by DEA agents from Mexico to Long Beach, California. I was breaking a kilo up that was pecuilar in that the Mexican State was printed on butcher paper and it was then wrapped in color cellophane, at the same time George Putnam was breaking one up on television as he discussed a thousand kilo deal that had been busted, with seven kilos missing from the load. I had five, and my friend had two. That was very funny to me. I delivered two kilos to Santa Barbara the same night that there was rioting, and the Bank of America building was burned. I drove through three check points going in, and two coming out. I swapped the weed for LSD, which I brought home. I have driven through an armed narcotics check point, where a small building blocked the road, and all these agents were standing around, holding sub machineguns. I had forty kilos in my trunk, laying loose. We were questioned, and passed, without being searched. That was scarey. Like I said, though, I have never been arrested but when I knew it was coming. If I had listened to my inner voice I would have never been arrested. I would never have been arrested if I never broke the law, but then I would have missed all that fun. I guess because is good enough. I am homeless because. That is true enough, and while I can trace back the errors that ultimately led to my homelessness, the truth is I am homeless because. How about you? By that I mean can you accept your current condition because? Or do you seek blame? I am poor because the entire world is against me, or the work pool is rigged against me, or simply because. It is all cause and effect. We all are individual dominoes in a long slread out formation, and once set in motion it continues to the end.

Author: gary

I am a retired paralegal private investigator. I live in southeast Missouri, USA. I am 74 years old and have been a hippie since 1967. Peace out

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