DAMNIT, the dog

I have an old dog (now) that, at 15, has been around me nearly her entire life. I have held her in my arms while her broken leg healed, cared for her while her original master got his life together, and then she wouldn’t go with him. He was kind enough to leave her with me, and she and I have seen a lot, shared friends, foods and fun. Her name fits her, and my life has definitely improved with having her around. Twice her best friend and body guard has been killed, and Brutus has been her third. Brutus is my bodyguard as well. Damnit will be 16 next month, and she is certainly doing well for her age but decidedly she is nearing the end of the line. I am, so far, able to care for her and do for her what I can. Yes, she has problems with her hind quarters, and she is slower moving and awkward at times. Sometimes both of them get stubborn, but she still knows what she wants, and occasionally she forgets what she is doing, but thats ok. I scoop her up and carry her, and sometimes she lets me know that she prefers to do it herself. She sleeps near me, if Brutus allows her to, which he does often. He knows her time is coming, and he is no spring chicken either, at nine. Thats old for a 120+ pound dog, but he shows no sign of slowing down, and he cares as much for Damnit as I do, frequently herding her away from trouble, the same as he tries to do with me. He watches out for me. When I visit Barbara and Denny Fuller, Brutus and Damnit seem to pace outside, going from the front to side door, then back again. Once in a while he will walk over and look in the window at me. He is always wagging his tail, and Damnit used to. The last year or so she tucks her tail, covering her butt.I assume she is covering a sore area. I have cleaned her there, brushed, soaped,combed and shampooed. She is clean, but I do need to watch for her, and help her keep clean. She also goes into the water to keep clean. A fastidious lady is Damnit. She likes being pampered, and also enjoys being brushed. When you consider all of the shitty times she has been through, her attitude is very good. She enjoys people food, and also likes her canned food and gravy. Brutus does as well, but Brutus does not like bread, Damnit loves bread. Damnit likes vegetables, cheese and some dog foods. Her teeth have slowly turned grey and dropped away. She barks as soon as she senses me leaving. She barks until I return. She loves me, of course. She depends on me helping her. That is good, because I have shed many tears over deceiding how to terminate her life. I am hoping she dies in her sleep. I do not want her to suffer, however I would like her life to be on her terms. So I do what I can and just hope it is enough. She has endured my homelessness, but we have had some times that were great, and some so so. She loves camping, as do I, and we will go again soon. Until then, I let her out numerous times a day and night. Thats Damnit, the dog.

Author: gary

I am a retired paralegal private investigator. I live on the southern Oregon coast, USA.

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