Rainy Day

Now with the rain season underway I need to jump into forward mode and shift gears from Summer because I want to progress from summer/Fall to Winter mode. Easy enough to do, especially when there are enough nice days to expand a bit and take Brutus for a few days trip. Sixes is calling me and I have to visit my friend since I have not seen him in a year. I do need to try and keep my friends in better contact than I have been. Yes, I often times have years slip by without acknowledging friends, and they sometimes feel I only see them when I want something. That is not the case, I actually just forget to stop and say hello, being isolated in thought due to my personal struggles unrelated to the individual and more because I am so intense of an individual. I do have friends that I bother just because my personality has that chaffeing quality to it. Often I intentionally do things that carry such side quirks where unbeknownest to me I have “made a statement” that appears deliberate yet was innocent when done and particularly so when, for me, I was unaware of the crossed effect. That is probably more due to tunnelvision on my part. I apoligise in advance for any of my actions that have led you to that belief. I guess that also is because I fail to fully consider all consequences of any particular acts. I do things that appear, on the one hand, to be retribution but, in reality, are merely gut reaction. An example would be I do not like arguing or being told what to do and my gut reactions are usually flight. A caveat to that is when I have already acted to reduce stress and only had the stress increase more so. I walk away from stress, and run away from stress situations that harbor ill will. Confrontation is foreign to me by my design, more because I grew up with constant confrontation and dislike having to meet up with conflict. I rarely tolerate for long any actions that send my feelings or emotions into a spiral because those emotions, for me, are way too intense. My foot loose and fancy free demeanor is more facade than reality, because I try hard to leave little of myself vulnerable to others whim. I pride myself on stress free game playing, have been known for poker games, often days long in length, that rarely have arguments. I do not tolerate card games that breech that line. I grew up with games that always had arguments and such, and a card game is for fun. When arguing disrupts a card game I leave. I have a tolerance for arguing, especially with friends, however I prefer not to play cards when circumstances make the game unfun. That is more than just me, or a simple rule to consider, because it goes instantly deep into my heart. Overly sensitive? Probably so, but I am too old to waste time with petty arguments. For me it ruins more than the game, it borders on making me frustrated. Why attempt making fun from a simple game when others prefer the imagery of battle. Not for me. Add stakes and the game becomes boring. These rains have made my back very sore, so I shall end, for now.

Author: gary

I am a retired paralegal private investigator. I live on the southern Oregon coast, USA.

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