I have a new love whom shall be called B for now. He is not yet out so his identity shall be protected. While I can write for long periods of why I love him, and I most assuredly do love him, I think it best to provide copies of two letters he wrote me recently:
Dear Gary:
You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You know as well as I do that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the most important thing in my life and I love you.
When we first met I really thought you were going to block me, and I was so happy to get s response from you. When I was scrolling through the men on hornet I had the age set for 36-80 so that is one of the reasons you showed up. When I saw you I swear my heart must have skipped a beat. You looked so beautiful in that photo and I was mesmerized by you.
I know you don’t feel that you are handsome and that you have a hard time believing me when I tell you that you are; but I would never lie to you. You are the most handsome man as far as I am concerned. Yes my history teacher was a handsome man and yes there are many handsome men out there; but that is just going off of looks. I actually know you and I feel like I know you very well, and you are beautiful on the inside just as much as the outside and that is why I find you so incredibly handsome.
You complete me sweetheart, you really are my other half. Without you I would be lost and you help me in so many ways. Without you to tell me I would do great on my speech I would have been terrified and not as confident as I was when I did it. I was able to pretend that I was talking to you and that helped me so much. You always encourage me when I feel like I am going to fail and you are always there to support me when I do.
This past month has been amazing and I know that this whole year is going to be amazing because I am going to be spending it with you. I want us to be married and I want us to have a nice life together.
I know that you are old and I say that it does not bother me and it doesn’t. But I do think of it sometimes and how I know that theoretically you are going to die before me, and that makes me sad, but then I think about all the wonderful times we are going to have together and I know you are going to at least going to be with me for twenty years and that is a long time for me considering I have not even lived twenty years yet. And knowing how old you are and are going to die does not scare me away from loving you with all my heart and putting everything I have into this relationship.
I always worry about your health problems and yes I know that you will most likely be fine, but there is always that off chance that something will happen. But again that is not going to deter me away from being with you because I would rather love you fully for a short time and never love again than find someone else and always think about you. It would not be fair to the other person and it would make both of us unhappy. Your happiness is one of my top priorities. I will always love you, that much is certain. I know we can not predict the future and that we can’t plan for everything, but I do know no matter what we are going to be together in the end and that we both will do everything we can to ensure that that happens.
Death used to scare me, not knowing what is happening in the world and all that shit. I know that I am not a religious person, but whatever happens after death I am going to go into it with the knowledge that I will be reunited with you and that you will be waiting for me.
I love you Gary that much is for certain, it might as well be written in stone because of how solid that statement is. I know you do not want me just for sex, I tease you about that because you are an old man, but I know it is not true. I can see it in your eyes in the way you look at me. I can hear it in your voice when you tell me you love me and that I mean everything to you. You don’t have to prove anything to me, I already know.
You are my everything and I will always love you and you know that. You know I will do anything to be with you, I would go wherever you go just to be with you because I never want to fall asleep without you in my arms or my head on your chest.
I tell you I love you every morning when I wake up and every evening when I go to sleep. Not just to tell you, but because that way I know that you go to sleep knowing that I love you and that you woke up knowing nothing has changed.
I am proud to call you my boyfriend and I want you to be with me every step of the way as I accomplish my goals, our goals. There will never be a time where I don’t want you to be around, even when I want to be alone for a little while I would never object to a quick kiss from my lover. Just like right now there is never a time I don’t want to call you or video chat you because every time we do we learn more and more about each other and it is more time we get to spend together.
I love you so much and that will
never change. I will always love you and only you sweetheart. I would never have someone else after you because no one could compare. You are perfect for me. You are my one and only true love.
Love
I read that a month after we met. I told him how beautiful that was, and how beautiful he was to write it. Then two weeks later he writes this:
You have brought more love and laughter in my life than anyone before. You are not only the perfect man for me but you have eyes full of determination to be with me. Before we’d met I’d hoped for someone to come into my life to laugh with. Then you came along and suddenly all was right in the world.
I want to spend the rest of my life being yours. You are the most important thing to me. I love you so much, Gary, and you have really improved my life so much. There isn’t a day where I don’t want to talk to you, see your face.
Sometimes I feel this is all a dream because of how amazing and perfect You are.
I will always be by your side no matter what. That means what ever happens, I will stick by you. You mean everything to me, old man. I love you.
So there you have the reasoning I am in love with this young punk.We will always be together.